JANUARY
*January 2013 was so full of promise, so full of potential, so full of DRAMA-RAMA!
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West reveal that they're expecting a baby together
... causing "WTF?" shockwaves across the globe in the process.
Beyonce sings at President Obama's inauguration
Well, we say 'sang' when we really mean 'lip synced like a total boss'. But, y'know… same difference.
FEBRUARY
So a ton of really good things happened in February 2013…
Firstly, and most importantly, Jennifer Lawrence meets Jack Nicholson at the Oscars
... and was left sufficiently creeped out / starstruck in the process.
Beyonce brings some serious sass to the Super Bowl
It was just pure gurning-hair-flicking awesomeness, wasn't it?
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum reveal they're expecting a baby together
Hearts broke everywhere, sure, but… c'mon guys, admit it; that baby is going to be SERIOUSLY smooth on the dance floor.
MARCH
From religious icons to Justin Bieber, March was a funny old month...
Pope Benedict resigns
UNHEARD OF IN THE HISTORY OF POPES, WE TELL YA! Thank goodness Pope Francis swiftly stepped up to take Benedict's place in the pulpit, eh?
Justin Bieber is hideously late to a concert…
…and fans, especially parents of fans, were so not happy about it. Even Jon Bon Jovi got involved, slamming the Biebz for his tardiness.
Give yourself a hug, Justin. it'll be alright.
Millie Mackintosh and Professor Green announce they're engaged!
Mmhmm, Pro G put a ring on it. We imagine she reacted something a little like this...
APRIL
Ah, April. besides the freak snowstorm, what else did it bring us?
Prince William is rejected
He leaned in to give a small child a kiss on the cheek, as royalty and celebrities are famed for doing, and was hideously and humiliatingly rebuffed.
We giggled. A lot.
Queen Elizabeth II wins a BAFTA
She was pretty chuffed about it too. We think…
Justin Bieber comes under fire for saying Anne Frank would have been a Belieber
He just never learns, does he?
David Beckham plays his last professional football game
Yup, he retired. It's all over, everybody.
But it DOES him more time with little Harper, so don't feel too upset about it!
JLS announce it's all over
First David Beckham, then JLS… our little hearts were overwhelmed with it all. No word if any of them are going solo just yet.
MAY
Whaddaya reckon, everybody? A month WITHOUT a Justin Bieber story? Fat chance...
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber get back together
Taylor Swift basically had the world's reaction to this news covered.
Will Smith and Alfonso Ribeiro do the Carlton Dance
This is why we love Graham Norton so much. HE MADE THIS HAPPEN, PEOPLE!
JUNE
We all remember the major celebrity event that happened in June, don't we? No? Look at your compass if you need a hint...
One Direction release their very own perfume
They wanted their fans to smell a certain way and their fans were all too happy to oblige!
Robert Pattinson revealed as the new face of Dior Homme
The advertising campaign was pretty mesmerising, wasn't it?
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed a baby daughter
… and they called her North.
As in, North West, yes.
JULY
What could July give us to top June...?
Simon Cowell's baby news is revealed
Yup, this was the month that Simon Cowell's baby mama Lauren Silverman revealed she was pregnant. And Simon was, surprisingly, pretty chuffed about it.
Andy Murray wins Wimbledon
YEAH HE DID!!! We were so proud. We really, genuinely were.
The royal baby is born
And he waved too! He did, we swear. When Kate Middleton and Prince William presented Prince George Louis Alexander to the public, he WAVED!
Check it out:
Katie Hopkins says you should judge children by their names
Everybody cringed. E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y. And then everybody got really angry.
To be honest, it's basically been like that ever since.
AUGUST
Ah, the month of Miley Cyrus. We imagine this one's going to be p-r-e-t-t-y memorable...
Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at the MTV VMAs
Hilarious or disturbing? We're not sure… although, looking at that tongue and Robin's homage to Beetlejuice, we're leaning more towards the latter…
Which inspired that whole twerking craze.
Harry Styles did it...
Tina Fey gave it a go...
Even Dora The Explorer twerked it up!
Let's hope that 2014 is the bearer of a new dance move, eh?
The whole Harry Styles and Taylor Swift fiasco comes to a head
They were together, they were in love and then, all of a sudden, they weren't anymore.
We think Tay-Tay knew Hazza was trouble when that fan asked if it was love, to be honest…
Anyway, that happened. It happened in MARCH - months ago. But, at the MTV VMAs, Taylor was dedicating breakup songs to her One Direction beau like it was going outta fashion…
And then there was the unfortunate moment she was caught whispering THIS as her ex-boyfriend and his bandmates accepted an award…
No hard feelings there then.
Peter Capaldi is the brand-new Doctor Who
Everyone rejoiced at the news - even if it DOES mean saying goodbye to Matt Smith!
Michael Buble and Luisana Lopilato's baby is born
Let's raise a glass to Noah Buble, shall we?
Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards announce their engagement
One Direction fans everywhere weep tears of regret and envy. But Zerrie didn't care - this was THEIR moment!
SEPTEMBER
With Autumn came some brand-new celebrity happenings...
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth's engagement is OFF
And Miley was pretty cut up about it too, bless her.
…but Michelle Keegan and Mark Wright ARE engaged!
Mmhmmm, yup; the cute showbiz couple made it official when Mark got down on one knee in Dubai and ask his Michelle to be his bride. Unsurprisingly, she said yes.
Pop open the bubbly then!
Kanye West gets upset over Jimmy Kimmel spoof
And by upset, we mean REALLY upset. So much so that Jimmy had to invite Kanye onto the show and apologise for the whole thing. And grovel. And plead. And promise to bequeath him his firstborn child or something.
OCTOBER
It's the spookiest time of the year - but did any celebs leave us shivering in our booties?
Nicole Scherzinger wows us on the X Factor panel
She was SCH-MAZING, wasn't she?!
Prince George gets christened
And he even made sure he coordinated his gown with Kate Middleton's ensemble. nice work, mini royal fashionista!
Lady Gaga performs on the X Factor
In a seashell bikini, no less! If you're gonna do it, do it RIGHT, we say.
Kanye West proposes to Kim Kardashian
Kanye wanted to make an honest woman outta Kim, mother of his baby North West, so he planned a low-key proposal. Just a 50-piece orchestra, fireworks, a personally designed diamond ring and an empty stadium.
Nothing fancy.
NOVEMBER
There were DEFINITELY fireworks in the showbiz world this November….
Seth Rogen and James Franco spoof Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's music video
The original was unintentionally hilarious, but nothing will ever be AS funny as Seth Rogen and James Franc's take on Kimye's topless-straddling-motorbike music video.
Nothing.
Taylor Swift, Prince William and Jon Bon Jovi sing Livin' On A Prayer together
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!
David Beckham confesses he performed a sex act over a picture of Clayton Blackmore
Red-faced Becks admitted he had to performa sex forfeit initiation upon joining Manchester United - and he had to perform a sex act over a mug of 80s legend Clayton Blackmore.
"Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones! The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore…"
Gross Becks. Seriously.
Joey Essex enters the I'm A Celebrity jungle
… and quickly becomes a nation's sweetheart. Something to do with his inability to tell the time, hilarious one-liners, ridiculously sweet nature and stomach for disgusting Bush Tucker Trials.
DECEMBER
Tis the season to be jolly...
Sam Bailey wins The X Factor 2013
People everywhere rejoice - in a very big way.
Amy Willerton and Joey Essex confirm they're a couple
Sam Faiers has, pretty much, perfectly summed up our reaction to this joyous news…
Justin Bieber makes a fan cry after calling her a beached whale
Well, that's what eyewitnesses say, anyway. Apparently Biebz turned on a size 14 fan and told her she looked like a beached whale.
Justin, c'mon now... you're only hurting yourself…
Kate Winslet has a bouncing baby boy
But the majority of the world doesn't care too much, to be honest. They've all got their eyes closed and their fingers in their ears, busily pretending that Kate and Leo are still living happily ever after on that gosh darn boat.
We have just one thing to say to THOSE people:
Beyonce releases a bumper surprise album
Just like that. No warning whatsoever. One minute there's no album, the next - 17 music videos!
There's a reason they call her the Queen, y'know.
Merry Christmas Closerettes and a happy new year! We wonder what surprises those celebs will spring on us in 2014...?
