After years living a carefree, party girl lifestyle, Kate Lawler tied the knot with beau Martin Bojtos, aka ‘Boj’, in 2022, just a year after welcoming their baby daughter, Noa.
And while the presenter says Boj – a podcast company owner – is her best mate, she also thinks it’s important to spend time apart.
‘I’ve always had my girls’ nights out, and he has nights out with the lads,’ says Kate, who shot to fame in 2002 after becoming the first female winner of Big Brother. ‘Our relationship is based on a strong friendship, and I’m so lucky we have that. But I do believe a healthy relationship requires you to have time apart from each other, too, particularly when you work together.’
The couple launched their award-winning, chart-topping Maybe Baby podcast in 2019, to open up discussions around the decision to have kids, inspired by Kate’s own uncertainty about whether she wanted to be a mum.
With rave reviews and over one million listens to date, it’s been praised for tackling a taboo subject in a relatable and entertaining way. Now, they’ve reunited for another podcast, Boj & Kate Have A Lot On Their Plate, which they describe as ‘food, family life and at times, full-on chaos’.
Living together and working together while parenting their young daughter, it’d be easy to assume their marriage is rock solid. But Kate has been refreshingly honest about the challenges they have faced in the last few years, revealing that they had couples’ therapy after the birth of Noa, when she was suffering from postnatal depression – a terrifying experience, which left Kate with suicidal thoughts (something she wrote candidly about in her 2022 book, Maybe Baby). The experience, she says, pushed her and Boj to their limits.
‘It was such a hard time, but we got through it. Couples’ therapy has been really good for us – Boj was the one who suggested it, and I was like, “Oh my God, do you want to break up with me?!” and he said, “No, I just think we need help because we can’t do this on our own.”
‘I love my daughter so much, and I love being a mum, but those early weeks were the toughest of my life,’ she continues. ‘Honestly, I thought, after I had a baby, that I’d be on Instagram talking about how happy I was, but I was in the darkest place.’
Kate feels that her traumatic start to motherhood may have been partly to blame. Following the Caesarean birth, Noa spent three days in NICU with fluid on her lungs and was rushed back to hospital two weeks later with a finger infection and suspected sepsis and meningitis. Coupled with difficulties breastfeeding, Kate struggled to cope. But even without the mental health challenges new motherhood brought her, she feels that the effect of those first few months on a couple is often glossed over.
‘I was talking to a pregnant friend recently and I said, “I have to warn you that you will probably hate your partner for the first year of your baby’s life” and afterwards she was like, “You’re not wrong”. It’s one of those things that happens because you’re both tired, and sleep deprivation is like torture, and you take things out on the person closest to you. Plus, there seems to be this competition of who has done what and who is more tired.’
Even though they still have a therapy session every other month to talk about their relationship and parenting, she and Boj are in a much happier place now. And they are very much a unit when it comes to parenting Noa.
‘I am fortunate to have a very involved husband. This was part of the deal, though. Before we had Noa, I said, “Look, as long as you’re in this with me, let’s do it. I’m not going to be a parent that does 90% of the work – this is a 50/50 job”.’
Kate became a mum at the age of 41, and because of that she says she’s more aware of her health – she eats well and does hot yoga and Pilates every week, aiming to stay as fit and healthy as she can for her daughter.
‘Ageing doesn’t scare me, but not being around for Noa terrifies me. I look at her and I just want to be around for her whole life, for as long as possible.’
This year, Kate turns 45, and she says she finds it surreal to think she’s now been in the limelight for 23 years. After winning Big Brother, she went on to a career in DJing, presenting various radio shows and in 2022, she began hosting ITV competitions and features on This Morning and Loose Women. She’s forever grateful for the reality show and how it changed her life.
‘The money helped me get on the property ladder, and it just opened up doors, professionally – to think that I’m still doing radio and TV and podcasting now, all these years after Big Brother, makes me feel incredibly proud.’ And as for her future plans, Kate has one particular ambition…
‘I would love to work with my pal Alison [Hammond] to present This Morning! I don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes, but if Dermot ever went on holiday, I would jump at the chance!’ she grins.