My husband of 14 years has left me and our two children for his younger secretary. Since then, he’s been verbally abusive, turns up drunk and has become violent. Why is he behaving like this? *Name withheld, by email *
Tracey says: If he was happy, he’d be far too busy enjoying his new life to be bothered trying to ruin yours. This is an insidious combination of guilt and blame – perhaps in his mind it’s your fault his life has gone wrong. It’s also attention seeking: he’s gone but doesn’t want to be forgotten. You are well rid of him. Minimise contact, refuse to engage in battle and call the police if necessary.