‘I’m in love with a tree – it’s the best sex I’ve ever had’

Emma McCabe in love with a tree Tim

by Jack White |
Updated on

It’s one of the most opinion-provoking real life stories ever: following a string of heartbreaks, a woman is now in a sexual relationship with a TREE.

After a series of disastrous relationships Emma McCabe fell in love with a poplar tree called Tim – and cites him as 'the best sex I’ve ever had'.

Opening up to Closer magazine, she explained that her feelings with Tim are "genuine".

She went on to say: "He fulfills my emotional and sexual needs. I orgasm by rubbing against the bark naked.

"I love the feeling of skin-on-bark contact, which gives me a more pleasurable pain sensation, and the feel of his leaves against my skin makes me tingle. I have sex with him every week — it’s the best I’ve ever had!"

WATCH: Jamie Dornan talks sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey

Emma then went into details about one particular night with Tim, "I took off my top and rubbed my naked breasts against Tim's trunk until I orgasmed."

"I look at other trees, but don't touch -- I wouldn't cheat on Tim."

Even though her family are "shocked" at her relationship with the tree, Emma explained they still support her: "[They] know how much Tim means to me."

Emma McCabe in love with a tree Tim
©Closer Magazine

She added: "I’d like to get married but it would be a low-key ceremony with family. People may judge me, but Tim makes me happier than any man."

Unsurprisingly, after Emma featured in our magazine, the internet exploded with reactions. One Twitter user asked the obvious: "Just me who wants to know how you have sex with a tree?"

Of course it wasn’t long before the jokes came.

"She’s going to get a splinter"

"Woman who wanted wood in the literal sense"

"Wondering if that woman who had sex with a tree might like to go out with this chap down my garden"

Emma McCabe in love with a tree Tim
©Closer Magazine

"At least you don’t have to wait for it to get wood"

"A woman’s love for a tree is blossoming"

"How do you have sex with a tree – she’s branching out"

Emma McCabe in love with a tree Tim
©Closer Magazine

And so many more. The story even caught the attention of singer Sean Kingston, who shared the article on his Facebook page.

But not everyone was critical of Emma’s situation. One empathetic Twitter user said: "If someone is happy with a tree let them be happy. It doesn’t effect you does it?"

What do you think of Emma’s relationship with Tim the tree? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.

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