When I found out I was expecting a little girl at my 20-week scan, I was over the moon.
However, as I started to share my happy news with the wider world, it seemed more people were keen to express sympathy than congratulations.
You see, I already have three gorgeous little girls, aged seven, five and two. Apparently, this should mean that I am desperately pining for a boy to complete my family.
Everyone from good friends to random strangers at the supermarket have been keen to express their disappointment and reassure me that I could always try for another. When I respond that four children will be enough for me, the conversation tends to stray into sending condolences to my husband, warning me about the dangers of synchronised periods when they hit adolescence or urging me to start saving up for their weddings now.
I know people mean well and are just making small talk but their comments definitely fall wide of the mark. My fourth little girl isn’t a consolation prize or a second choice, I couldn’t be happier with the news.
When the sonographer was carrying out my scan, I wasn’t silently praying that the baby would have a little extra between its legs. For me, the cliché ‘so long as it’s healthy’ was definitely true.
If this baby had been a boy, then the news would have been wonderful and exciting but it would also have sent me into a bit of a tailspin. I will admit to feeling a rush of relief along with my joy when the sonographer confirmed what I already suspected and told me my unborn child was another little girl.
I know what I am doing with girls and I have a good idea of what to expect. Our house is stuffed full of girls' clothes and toys and I can imagine another girl fitting into our family seamlessly, whereas a boy would have taken a little more work.
My three daughters are also delighted to be getting a little sister to join their rowdy gang.
I do question where this idea that the perfect family has to include a child from both genders has come from. We no longer need a son and heir to protect our financial future and girls now generally out-perform boys when it comes to academic achievement at school.
Friends with one boy and one girl tell me that people clamoured to tell them how lucky they were. They’d hit the fertility jackpot and could consider their family complete with just two.
Others with two children of the same gender report that the questions about when they will try for another start before the youngest is even out of nappies. And the Victoria Beckhams of this world who get a different flavour of child the fourth time round are congratulated and celebrated for FINALLY getting their girl or boy.
Personally, I think the whole thing is bonkers. I can’t think of anything nicer than four little girls to fill my home with laughter, glitter and princess fancy dress. I am the youngest of four girls myself and having three older sisters has been a total gift both growing up and as an adult.
But it seems that our obsession with dodging the single gender bullet is nothing new. When I was born 37 years ago, everyone imagined I was my parents’ final failed attempt at having a boy. The reality couldn’t have been more different and my mum sometimes admits she isn’t sure she would have handled four boys half as well.
Parenting happily doesn’t need to include babies of both genders. I’ve seen a glimpse of my future and it is definitely pink.
Are all your children the same gender? Did you experience a similar reaction? And were you happy or did you secretly wish you children were a mix of boys and girls? Let us know over on Facebook or Twitter.
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