Is Dr Alex George going to be at the bottom of the list? Spoiler: yes
Love Island is, as we know, a show about sex. One million (approximate figure) super hot young things enter the villa, all vying to be the most desirable there.
But if you don't couple up in the very first episode, your chances of winning the show are slim at best. Which seems a little unfair on all the dreamboats who either enter later or mug around so much the most they'll 'win' from the show is a 10% off Boohoo man code in their name.
To redress this, here's:
The sexiest Love Island men 2018 - a definitive ranking
CLOSER Love Island's sexiest men 2018 stacked
1. Josh Denzel
Sure, Josh Denzel did Georgia 'Loyal' Steel wrong - although we're not sure how much of her hurt we bought, but Josh gives us undeniable...feelings. Sexy feelings.
2. Jack Fincham
It's taken us a long time to find him sexy, but his continued cheer and sheer niceness have won Jack Fincham second place.
3. Paul Knops
Paul Knops has more than a hint about him of our great, lost, Towie love Ricky Rayment. The only way is sexxah, eh? EH? We'll be here all week.
4. Wes Nelson
We do NOT want to join the 'do bits' club with Wes Nelson, thank you very much. The way he treated Laura Anderson when Megan Barton Hanson turned his head was very bad. Doing bits with Megs in the day bed literally hours later? It's a no from us.
5. Dr Alex George
It is our strongly held belief that Dr Alex George is a sex vacuum. He tried to make chemistry happen with Samira Mighty, Megan, Rosie Williams, Ellie Brown, Charlie Williams and Grace Wardle but got no further than a lunge-and-kiss. Good luck to Alexandra Cane who does actually seem to like him despite his continued rejection of her.
Honourable mention: Adam Collard
Look, we hate ourselves a little bit for saying this but Adam Collard is hubba hubba hot - on the outside at least. Kendall-Rae Knight, Rosie Williamson, Zara McDermott and Darylle Sargeant can't all be wrong.
Honourable mention: Josh Mair
Josh is tall, dark and his incredible physique makes us wish we'd created this line-up in portrait rather than landscape.
Honourable mention: Jack Fowler
Our heads say no but our pants say yes Yes YES to sexy Jack. He's fling material mind, we wouldn't want to hubby him up.
Honourable mention: Alex Miller
Alex Miller, or Glasses Alex as he should be known, has a cheeky confidence we find veeeeery attractive. If only he'd gone for our villa favourite Laura instead of Megan he might still be in there.
Honourable mention: Eyal Booker
We're not sure how Eyal Booker didn't find love on Love Island, he's GORGEOUS. Here's hoping he has better luck on Celebs Go Dating this autumn.
Honourable mention: Frankie Foster
Good hair, good teeth, mediocre chat, Frankie Foster was a solid mid-fielder in the list of sexiest Love Island men.
Honourable mention:. Charlie Brake
Charlie Brake made it to the sexiest list because of his frankly enormous wealth. Never forget: £400million. That's more money than Justin Bieber. Probably.
READ: More Love Island news
Is your summer more about rocking it at UK music festivals rather than frolicking in swimwear Falariki?
WATCH: Festival tips from Love Island 2017's Dom Lever and Jess Shears, and more
Spoiler: Dom's best festival tips are 'get in VIP' and 'go with a woman who'll carry your stuff in her bag'. Both are brilliant tips. In a way.
In other Love Island news: Eyal Booker, who we missed off our sexiest men list, told Closer that he could be re-launching a music career now he's been booted off the show. And told us why he doesn't like to say Megan Barton Hanson's name aloud.