You're just a tad more melodramatic than your pals
"I'm here to provide a healthy dose of negativity!"
You don't react well when people tell you there's no such thing as ghosts
"SERIOUSLY DUDES!!!"
If you hear someone scream upstairs (most likely due to a spider in the bath), you immediately begin planning your OWN survival strategy…
"It's too late for them!"
Your nerves get jangled when the phone rings and you're home alone
"Please please PLEASE don't be a psychopathic murderer toying with his next victim. Please…"
Ditto to the doorbell / door knocker
"So what if I ordered pizza? They can just push it through the letterbox."
Strange noises send you into near-hysterics
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT WAS PROBABLY JUST THE RADIATOR SWITCHING ON?! It was a demon. I know it."
Which means that, when you hear one, you point-blank refuse to investigate it
"Go outside? Alone? In the DARK? No way, bro."
You don't cope well in darkness
"Fine, yes - they might just be shadows and my overactive imagination. But what if they're not?"
You absolutely do NOT trust mirrors
Candyman left us emotionally scarred too.
You fear for your life every single time you take a shower
"Bad hygiene is better than, y'know, getting murdered. Most things are, to be honest."
And bath. Let's not forget baths.
"HOW WILL WE EVER BE CLEAN AGAIN?"
The cat that knocked over the dustbins? Your worst enemy.
"Dude, you scared the shizzle outta me!"
Static on the telly? Not allowed in this house.
"CHANGE THE CHANNEL! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!"
And Ouija boards? They're REALLY not allowed in this house. Ever.
"You want to play with what?! ARE YOU INSANE?!"
And sun beds? You're not feeling sun beds after that whole Final Destination incident…
"Believe me: pale is definitely the new tanned."