Reports of hurricanes, blizzards and 'the coldest winter of all time ever' have been making headlines for weeks now…
Dudes, we get it; winter is coming - whatever, already.
But you dismissed them. Because, y'know, OBVIOUSLY not.
As if, Daily Fail, as if. It ain't even chilly!
This week, however, was all about the icy cold rain, whippy winds, 'thundersnow', and ACTUAL TORNADOES IN THE UK!
No, seriously.
We tried to be all: "BRING IT THE HELL ON WINTER, WE CAN TAKE YOU!!!"
But we failed.
Why? Because ACTUAL TORNADOES!!!
Run Toto, run!
Even without the tornadoes, it's windy enough.
No, seriously.
Forget doing your hair in the morning; it's going to be nicely blended with your lipgloss by the time you get in.
Mmmm, tasty.
You need to invest in some waterproof makeup, stat.
This new streaky look is so not fetch, no matter what you tell yourself.
And your hair?
Yeah, just forget it.
Because umbrellas are basically useless.
'Yeah, absolutely no point bringing you out really. Although I suppose clinging onto you DOES give my arms a workout.'
Most people keep poking you in the eye with the little sharp bits on theirs.
'Yeah, that brolly could've blinded me forever. Thanks.'
And the others just shake theirs off all over you.
'WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE TO BETRAY ME, UMBRELLA?!'
Puddles are the work of the devil himself.
No, we're absolutely not over-exaggerating.
And basically everyone is sniffing and snuffling.
Nope, it isn't cute - especially in the paranoid age of Ebola. BLOW YOUR EFFING NOSES!!!
Lunch hours are pointless.
Nope, no thank-you. We'd much rather stay right here at our desks then head out into that big clusterf**k of weather.
We have no idea how to dress for this.
Yeah, we get it - layers. BUT WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?!
Essentially, what we've learned here is that rain doesn't like us.
Note to selves: We don't like rain either.
And don't even get us started on snow.
Oh yeah sure, it looks pretty NOW...
This country is not built for snow.
What do you MEAN trains are delayed because of slippery rails?
More importantly, high heels are not built for snow.
Ow.
Or, y'know, ice.
Again, ow.
Time to look out our winter boots
Hey man, so long as they're waterproof, we don't give one tiny rat's dropping.
Despite this, you STILL persist on going out without a coat.
'I don't want to pay to put it in the club cloakroom, ok?'
Trust us, kids; when it comes to coats, it's all about the bigger the better.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET WARM, DAMN IT!
Ugh, we can't face it. Anyone else thinking hibernation is the only viable option?
Wake us up when summer's back, yeah?